Friends
According to those ubiquitous opinion pollsters, the average Briton has only three true friends despite claiming sixteen. I wonder how one categorises friends. Many women claim their mother is their best friend, but others go along with the aphorism “it is a good thing you can choose your friends because you cannot chose your family”. You choose your spouse, do they count as friend or family? We often refer to someone as a friend but is it really a colleague we hardly know or an acquaintance with whom we used to rub shoulders at a club or church? Is it easier to say ‘friend’ than explain the true relationship?
I was discussing this matter with two nurses I have known for many years. We used to see each other at work every day and have been through some fairly intense experiences together, but now, although we live within a couple of miles of each other, we do not meet more than once every couple of months for a curry. We have been in each other’s homes, we have met each other’s families, we know some fairly intimate details about each other, we still think of ourselves as friends despite our infrequent contact. We decided that we based this on the certainty that if we were in trouble the others would rally round without question. Indeed, when I had surgery and was admitted to hospital three times in three weeks it was they who visited me daily, kept me company and supplied me with reading matter. One of them laundered my nightdresses and the other collected me and settled me at home when I was discharged, whilst other current friends had a plethora of excuses as to why they had not been near me. My mother used to call these ‘fair weather friends’ whose ‘piecrust promises’ were made to be broken.
My best friend lives in Plymouth so genuinely could not visit me in Kingston Hospital yet she was willing to drive up and take me back to convalesce with her. She and I have known each other over forty years and are closer than many sisters. Even when miles apart, there is an awareness when we need each other, a strange compulsion to call. Dyslexia means she has problems writing letters, however we telephone (often for hours at a time) and email and text. There is no reason not to be in contact with anyone these days but such things as Twitter and Facebook cannot replace physical contact and we should all endeavour to see each other face to face when not in need, just to enjoy each other’s company.
A second newspaper survey reported that watching television alleviated loneliness, especially in people living alone. In the beginning God was on His own so He made Adam to be a friend and every day they would wander in the garden conversing about this and that. When Adam and Eve fell into disgrace and left the garden, not only did they lose the idyllic life but God also lost His companions. He missed man and sacrificed His own blood as penance for his sin, so that we could return to His Kingdom. Our prayers are a conversation with God, He wants to hear from us, He even sends the Holy Spirit to help us when we get stuck (Rom. 8:26).
There is no right way to do prayer; everyone has their individual style, which may vary depending on circumstances. We know God has said that anything we ask in the name of Jesus will be granted (John 14:14) and that we need to keep asking (Luke 18:1-8) but we also know that He has already granted all our needs and all we have to do is accept the gift. Our prayers should not be about telling God that which He already knows or asking Him to do that which He has already done. They should also include professions of love and appreciation, be a friendly chat. As the hymn says “what a friend we have in Jesus….what a privilege to carry everything to Him in prayer”. Jesus wants to be our friend but He also wants us to be His friends and friends keep in touch.
